This was, of course, all over the news (why, I’m not sure – it’s certainly not good publicity for the IDF): a clearly marked news vehicle was attacked by the IDF in Gaza City a few days ago.

While I’m no expert on what a “clearly marked vehicle” really is, it doesn’t take a genius to make a quick observation and realize that this isn’t a tank, a man with a rocket launcher, an ambulance, or any other favorite target (reading skills do help, however). I’ve never met anyone in the IDF, but the more I hear about the performance of these guys, the more I think “Are these guys even trained? What the hell?”

The timing couldn’t have been more perfect: the kidnapping of two journalists in Gaza ended in their release just after the IDF tries to blow two reporters to hell. Which side is better: the one that abducts and returns two journalists, or the one that just outright attempts to murder two journalists? But wait – there was an official apology: “If journalists were hurt, we regret it“. I like the sound of that! The first part, with the If, indicates that noone really knows who shot who and whether or not anyone was injured. Fair enough – I mean, the IDF can’t really be expected to keep track of everyone they try to kill, can they? But then the real beauty is in the second part: we regret it. That simple phrase tidily sums up the longer sentence, “We’re certainly not sorry about what we did, we’re just sorry that we got caught”. I like it!

Next time I do something illegal – nothing like shooting missles at anyone, mind you – I’ll simply issue an apology using that sentence as a template. Get caught speeding? Easy! “If I was speeding, I regret it”. Problem solved. A game with matches and gasoline quickly go afoul and burn down a city block? Have no fear! “If I set a building on fire, I regret it”. Accidentally kill a bunch of UN observers? “If I killed a UN Observer, I regret it”. You can use your own imagination and come up with your own cleverly-worded excuses as well, give it a try!

It sounds good, people have shown to accept it as good enough reason to forget about whatever illegal act you’ve committed, and you get off the hook. Thanks, IDF!